The Joys Of A Staff Night Out

We have this horror show once every two months. There is very little chance of getting out of it, pretty much every excuse apart from death is rebutted. It is meant to breed team unity and make us work better together, but instead we all just suffer through it in abject misery.

The team night out is a central theme in our office. Each department has them and we all all jealous of what the other teams manage to achieve on their nights out. It is almost as if the grass is always greener elsewhere.

We headed out to a darts clubs in London last week. Now the venue was brilliant, the games were fun and the food was exactly what you would expect from a darts club. There is nothing I would have chanced about the venue or the games we were playing. The only thing I would have changed was the amount of alcohol that my boss managed to drink and then how she became a little too expressive with her words.

I don’t know how many of these things I have been on, but they always end up the same way. Someone drinks too much and then the fun is over. The next day we are all reminded of their actions and they walk around the office embarrassed for a week, before someone else takes the headlines and the attention is diverted away.

We make suggestions but it just seems to be ignored. So I planned around the issues this time.

We were going out for a magician’s show. Full meal, drinks, show ensemble. The works had been laid on and we were going to endure the whole masterpiece. It might have been fun if it was with any other group of people. I mean literally from the guy trying to tell the magician how he was doing the tricks, to my colleague making overtly obvious attempts to pick up the waitress and then the depressing stories of how another colleague is moving out of her family home because she has found a new man.

But I knew this was coming. It was just too obvious to be a surprise. I had planned and I had planned really well.

The tables had been set up so that there was one vaguely in the corner. It was far enough out of the way, that I could very easily hide from most people if I sat on it. Then I had to make sure that I had people who would get up and dance or leave the table to go and talk to other people. So I grabbed and harangued some of the key people, to come and sit at my table.

It was all going too well. The table, the people and then the alcohol arrived. I had waited for something to go wrong, but it just didn’t. The plan was too good.

As soon as I could tell that people were starting to feel the effects of the drink, I retired to my table, got out my tablet and jumped straight to for the rest of the night.

I was able to sit and play bingo and for the first time ever, I could honestly say that I was enjoying the night. I had a smile on my face and I was genuinely having fun.

A little planning had made the staff night out enjoyable. I was going to get through this one without having to hear another depressing story from Brenda.

The only issue is that I probably enjoyed it too much and will be trying to organise the next one.

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